Sow a Thought, Reap an Action

I think the most important thing we discussed in class this week is the idea of what it means to be truly faithful to your spouse, the idea of infidelity and all that entails. We started the week discussing sexual intimacy and sexuality, and I thought that when we began talking about infidelity, it would be all about what we always think of in relation to this word. Our minds, at least mine does, tend to think on the sexual affair and cheating side of things, but my eyes were sort of opened. There are many more ways than physically cheating on your spouse that you may not be 100% loyal to them.

One way is through our friends and family. Yes, we can still have friends and have fun with our friends occasionally after we are married. Yes, we can still talk with our families and love them and be with them at times as well. Where we can become less loyal to our spouse in a way that may be damaging to our relationship is when we begin to disclose so much, especially complaints about our husband or wife, to our friends or family that we begin to be closer to them than to the man or woman we have decided to make vows to and maybe covenants with.

A lot of times, we may think this could only relate to friends of the opposite sex because we may develop feelings for them or begin devoting more time to them, which is obviously not good and can be a type of infidelity as well, but this also includes friends of our own sex as well. They can become more of our priority than our spouse, and how would that make your husband and wife feel? I don’t think I would like it very much if my husband wanted to spend more time out with his friends and family than with me, his wife. It can be harmful to the relationship.

Sometimes, you do not even have to know a person face to face to be having an affair with them. That obviously means it is not anything physical, but if you meet someone online and begin chatting with them day in and day out, where has your attention turned? What has become your priority? Or it could even just be thinking about what your relationship might have been with a coworker and or a classmate or an old friend. Fantasizing turns your attention away from where it should be. This is another type of infidelity and another way your relationship with your spouse could be jeopardized.

There is also pornography. This is something that is very rampant in our society today and has become more and more accessible, even by young children. Think about the effects this could have on a marriage, though. If a husband or wife becomes to addicted to watching and viewing porn in some way, oftentimes, their spouse begins to feel they are not good enough. It could be even worse than that. The one who has become addicted may begin to think their spouse is not good enough. This can easily lead to divorce if help is not sought after.

As you can see, there are so many ways that someone could be having some sort of affair, even if that affair is only in their mind. Thoughts are very powerful. There’s a quote you may have heard before, by Stephen R Covey. He says, “sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” It all starts with where your thoughts are. Are they with your spouse or somewhere else?