Communication and Counseling Together

I am sure that if you were to poll a number of people and ask them what they thought the most important aspect of a happy and successful marriage is, you would hear many different answers. You might hear selflessness, love, service, etcetera, but I think the most common answer is communication. That is what our discussion focused on in class this week, and I can really see why. Even if a marriage starts with so much love and affection, there can be little things that bother us and blind us to the love that we once felt unless we are able to talk about that and work through problems and issues throughout the marriage because, let’s face it, everybody has problems. There is no way around that, but if we can learn how to talk about it, they become much easier to work through.

I have noticed that one of the biggest problems may just be keeping things inside. Let’s say a man and woman were recently married. That can be a pretty big transition, and they are getting to know each other in new circumstances. Maybe the woman does not like the way the man washes the dishes, but the man does not like the way his wife leaves her towel draped over the stairs instead of in the bathroom or a laundry basket. Those are pretty miniscule issues, but they become bigger and bigger as the two of them let those thoughts and feelings fester inside. Then, they turn into arguments about something unrelated because they begin to find more and more faults with each other. Then, they begin thinking about divorce and how maybe they might be better off because they are always arguing. If at the beginning, they had been willing to talk to each other and discuss what they are feeling, all of this contention could have been lessened and probably even have disappeared right from the start. Communication really is so important.

Another way that communication is important is through decision making. A husband cannot make large decisions by himself, and a wife cannot make large decisions by herself. I know I would not be very happy if my husband came home one day and told me that he decided to take a new job in another state without discussing it with me first. Most people would agree. While most decisions like this generally are between the husband and wife, sometimes we should involve children as well. To counsel together can be a great learning and bonding experience for everyone.

Since I mentioned counseling, I want to mention someone else that should be involved. A husband and wife can work together to make decisions with God. We talked in class about the difference between coming to a compromise and coming to a consensus. Compromise is basically just finding the middle ground of what both sides want, while a consensus is when everyone feels that a decision and right and comes to a decision together. That is much easier if we involve the Lord. His will is what will bring us the most joy and happiness, so as husband and wife, and sometimes children, counsel together about what needs to be done, whatever the situation may be, they should begin and end with prayer. If we are ready for it and open to it, our Heavenly Father truly will let us know what is best for us and our families.

Communication will build our marriage relationships and help us to make the best choices for our families, especially if we involve our Father in Heaven. He is there to help.